Is It Okay For My Girlfriend To Hit Me? 

Do you know the fact that 49% of male victims fail to tell anyone that they are victims of domestic abuse? Similarly, 11% of male victims considered taking their life just because of their partner’s abuse.

Still, you’re looking for an answer to “Is it okay for my girlfriend to hit me”? Certainly not. It’s not easy to talk about this kind of violence and it’s an uncomfortable and taboo topic, one that no one would rather think or talk about.

Males are the overlooked victims of domestic violence and tend to be under-report. Whatever the exact numbers are, many men are being physically abused by their partners, and it is devitalizing and threatening. 

Not reporting those kinds of violence just because of some attached stigma is not the proper solution. Now, everyone has to steer the domestic abuse conversation away from certain taboos or gender biases and open up discussion for zero tolerance of domestic abuse. 

From this article, you’ll get to know the reasons why your girlfriend might be hitting you and what you can do about it. You’ll get some advice on whether to cut ties or resolve this issue to get a healthy relationship or seek the help of domestic violence hotline.

Is It Okay For My Girlfriend To Hit Me?

The couple generally expresses violence in relationships in various ways. Hitting one another can be considered physical violence or physically abusive behavior. This can ruin one or other of the partners, affecting their physical and mental health.


A girl hitting her boyfriend


Relationships aren’t standardly established with any violence. Violence in a relationship usually emerges with time and usually occurs when an unusual relationship pattern is found. 

This means that one partner tends to act submissively (Victim) while the other partner acts more forcefully (Aggressor).


Why Does My Girlfriend Hit Me?

Your girlfriend can hit you if she lacks understanding of personal boundaries, has been abused in the past, has learned physically abusive behaviors, or is reciprocating for something you have done.

Abuse is never the victim’s fault, so you should not blame yourself for your partner’s action. Some reasons are given below:

  •  If your girlfriend doesn’t understand personal boundaries

If you find your girlfriend hits you even if you tell them not to, your partner likely doesn’t have a perception of certain personal limitations. If she doesn’t understand limits, she is more likely to be physically abusive and doesn’t know when to stop.

Boundaries are a part of a sound and healthy relationship that helps you define what you are secure with and how you would like to be behaved by others. If your partner doesn’t respect you and your values, it isn’t right to be in that relationship.


  • If your girlfriend has been abused in the past

According to research, one in seven men have been abused by an intimate partner. They have been the victims of severe physical violence for e.g: strangling, burning, beating, etc.

Admitting a history of abuse is never an excuse for such physical assault or aggression, you should be aware that there’s a pretty strong resemblance between how a person is treated by their family and past boyfriend and how they’ll treat you as their partner.

Guarding mechanisms draw on this partnership model. Therefore, if your girlfriend feels intimidated or insecure, she’s much more likely to splash out at you. That’s exactly human nature.

If you’ve been hurt in the past, you may automatically shift into “fight or flight mode” when you feel like you may get hurt again. Here, the abuser is in control of the partner and uses domination to experience relief from emotions such as insecurity and fear. 

It would be best if you put some exertion on your partner to crack the cycle of abuse. In these cases, couples can benefit from counseling or therapy. Despite this interference, if your partner continues abusing you, you may need to end the relationship and recommend that your partner seek professional help immediately and independently.


  • If your girlfriend learned abusive behaviors

Abuse is a learned behavior. It’s not the result of mental illness, alcoholism, addiction, or any further personal condition, and it’s not your fault. Abuse is grounded or based on a codependent or anti-empathetic relationship replica in which one partner goes after control over the other.

Sometimes people learn abusive behaviors from the media, while others might know it from the people dearest to them. These behaviors are choices, a person can always correct abusive patterns by choosing to behave contrastingly.


  • If your girlfriend is reciprocating

 If you’ve ever used violence against your girlfriend, she may be retaliating to make amends for the pain she felt when you handed down violence against her. In addition, abusers are more likely to hit out when they think they’ve wronged or made them powerless.


Getting baffled in a cycle of abuse where both partners feel the need to control each other is arduous. Over the previous five years, on average 12 men per year had been killed by a present boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. That’s quite a big issue.


Suppose you both stop using physical violence or emotional abuse to suppress each other and replace those behaviors with good communication and boundaries. In that case, you may be able to rectify this.

Answer for “Is it Okay for my girlfriend to hit you” question answered to some extent till now. To know further about it, you should go over more content below.


Should I Break up With My Girlfriend If She Hits Me?

If she hits you, it is a complete indication of an abusive relationship. You should break up with her if she is hitting you constantly. No one should be entitled to an abusive relationship or deserves to know or understand why your girlfriend hits you.

 If your girlfriend is hitting you, it is not the first time she has been violent, in all likelihood. She likely has a history of violence with her previous boyfriend or in any other relationship.

If she is hitting you, it is only a matter of time before the violence escalates and becomes bitterly cold. Once someone resorts to violence in a relationship, it is not easy to halt. If you stay with her, it is possible that she will continue hitting you and that the violence will worsen over time.

You deserve to be in a healthy, safe, and loving relationship. If your girlfriend hits you, she isn’t the one for you. Break up with her and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.


What Should I Do If My Girlfriend Hit Me?

Luckily, a few solutions exist to get through domestic abuse and settle this prime issue. In each of these ways, chances of success depend on your partner’s willingness to collaborate.

  • Get to some safe zone and protect yourself

The very first step in dealing with this toxic relationship is to take a back away and defend yourself. Withdrawing yourself from a potentially violent situation or abusive partner is a healthy way to prevent abuse. It can also give you and your partner to think about your actions and your relationship’s future.

However, taking time only won’t fix the underlying domestic issue. You’ll need to consider ways to defy the abuser actively and whether ending your relationship is feasible. Talking to someone about what happened during this time might be beneficial.

Some people who have your best interest in mind may be able to help you get out of imaginably abusive situations, and unzipping your thoughts and getting another opinion can help you see your relationship from an outside outlook.


  • Discuss with your partner the issue in a neutral or public space

Once you take some time to reconsider your relationship and cool down, you may want to meet and discuss it with your partner in a general area. 

Bringing up somewhere with plenty of people is always best after conflict, as there’ll be plenty around to help prevent the situation from re-escalating, like telling her to stop.

Discussion with partner

When you meet her, you may want to discuss your boundaries and talk about possible solutions for the particular emotional abuse. Let your partner know you’re not okay with domestic abuse, then tell them how you would like them to pick up the situation in the future.

Suppose your partner acknowledges mistakes and takes ownership of her actions, you may have a possibility of saving your relationship, seeing you both are committed to putting in the work and going to therapy.

However, if your girlfriend continues to hold you accountable for the abuse or gets angry when you confront her, that’s a wake-up call, and it may indicate that you should cut ties with her.


  • Reconsider your relationship

If your girlfriend doesn’t respond to your boundaries or won’t take any blame for her violent behavior, it may be time to consider breaking up. Breaking up with your partner is often much easier said than done, but sometimes it’s obligatory.

If you end your relationship, you’re not only keeping yourself safe from your girlfriend but also communicating that you’re unwilling to put up with abuse from your partner.

So, even if a showdown doesn’t save your relationship, perhaps breaking up with your girlfriend is the only way to encourage her to get the help she needs to overcome her abusive behaviors.

If and when you part ways, you may want to tell your girlfriend that you’re breaking up with her because of her offensive behaviors. You may also suggest that she get professional help to overcome the way of acting violently so that her future partners don’t have to go through the same things you did.


  • Attend couple therapy or counseling

If your partner responds well to confrontation and expresses a wish to get better at responding to difficult situations, therapy may help you and your girlfriend improve your relationship. However, treatment will only work if your partner is willing to change and put pressure on themselves.

Couples therapy is slightly risky if you live with your girlfriend. Often challenging issues and conflict can come up in therapy sessions, and when you get home, the violence and abuse may only escalate after these sessions. 

Couples having therapy

So, if you genuinely want your therapy to be beneficial, it is best to live not together until your therapy is beneficial, it is best to live separately until your therapist believes that you may be able to cohabitate peacefully.

Also, you can call the national domestic violence hotline or call the cops if the condition worsens.

If a Girl Hits You, Does She Love Me?

Love has nothing to do with hitting and other toxic tendencies. A person can beat you and still feel very coupled with you and in love with you. It’s just that the way he loves you is wrong and that he could fall out of love with you when he gets tired of taking over all the power and going through the uncertainties.

You could also get tired of her abuse, of course, but this depends on your self-esteem and the extent to which you need your boyfriend in your life. If you love her more than yourself, this, sadly, isn’t love but a deficiency of self-love.

As long as your girlfriend is around, you’ll have difficulty changing how you perceive yourself. Your dignity will be tied to her (fierce) behavior.


She might be dating others and hitting you just to get away from you. This might be another reason that can possibly happen. In case you want to be sure whether she is cheating on you or not, you can delve into 5 apps to catch a cheater.

It’s not your job to punish your girlfriend for hurting you and teach him valuable lessons he needed to learn ages ago. Everyone is responsible for personal growth, your job is to be thoughtful of yourself and safeguard yourself when people use or abuse you.

If Your Girlfriend Hits You, Can She Change?

Everyone is capable of changing and improving. But, most people, regrettably, don’t want to change, and they prefer to blame others for their mistakes and behaviors and ignore the need for self-respect.

If you’re pondering whether your girlfriend can change after hitting you, this depends on how she hit you, why she hit you, and how sorry she is for hitting you.

You’re still together now, functioning as a pair, so you can overcome problems if you want to. You should determine if it’s possible to let off each other and commit to outgrowing your current selves.

However, if your girlfriend hits you because she’s an enraged and heated girl with poor self-control, she probably won’t change. She will refuse to stop hitting you or try to justify her actions, then it may be required to end the relationship or cut ties with her.

You must look into the Code to Check If Phone is Hacked to know if your aggressive girlfriend is eavesdropping on you


Final thoughts

So, is it okay for my girlfriend to hit me? The answer is way more complicated. It depends on a variety of circumstances, including the severity and frequency of the abuse as well as the relationship between you and your partner. If you are being abused, please reach out for help. 

But, you need to be strong and do something about it even if you’re afraid and still in love with your girlfriend. Hitting in relationships is inexcusable, but understanding the reason behind it happening and how to handle it is still critical if you want to end the cycle of abuse.

Put yourself and your future before your girlfriend. Make sure you understand what you are signing up for so that you don’t become okay with your girlfriend hitting you regularly.

Trust your gut; if something feels wrong, it probably is. If you’re unsure what to do next, reach out for help. If you take appropriate action, you can avoid pain, disrespect, and shame today. You deserve to be safe and happy in your relationships.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top